It doesn’t matter what time you live in… being a human being, alive on the planet earth comes with a lot of crap. And we’ve been striving—for ages—to find some way to contend with the heaping pile of manure in front of us. But just imagine, what if it were possible to invent a way to take all the crap in the world and send it away. Well, today’s story, is about the people who embarked on a journey to do just that. Literally.

Today I have created two shots dubbed the porcelain thrones. They are comprised of chartreuse, Frangelico, rum, and crème de cacao and were inspired by easily one of the most appreciated inventions in history. It is known under many names: the John, the Harrington, the loo, the porcelain throne, and many others, but perhaps most commonly it’s known as the toilet. Yes, we are doing this and no, this isn’t a joke. So please, join me as we step into the porta potty of history and learn about the invention of the toilet.

The task of disposing humanity’s eaten meals has been at the forefront of every society. From chamber pots to garderobes, from outhouses to the harrowing experience of having to dig a hole in the woods, people have always been looking for the best way to do their… business.

But what we understand as the flushable toilet wasn’t even spoken of until the 16th century, when a description of the device was penned by Queen Elizabeth’s godson, Sir John Harington. That first toilet took 7.5 gallons to flush and, being so innovative for the time was quickly outfitted in the palace.

In the 1700s, a Mr. Alexander Cumming requested the first patent for the flushable toilet. Later he also designed the s-shaped pipe we all know and love (and believe me you do) that remarkably lessened that special smell coming up from the sewers and managed to keep some water in the pipe for beneficial reasons that frankly, didn’t interest me enough to research. But he did it! Then, finally…the crap met the Crapper.

In the late 1800s, Thomas Crapper built his own line of flushing toilets and began to distribute the toilets on a grander scale. Crapper is also credited with inventing the wonderfully named “ballcock,” also known as the toilet valve. It’s actually a critically important component of the modern toilet because it ensures the water tank only fills up enough to rinse out the bowl as opposed to turning the bathroom into a very special kind of swimming pool. Personally, I think most of its value lies in the name.

Crapper was so successful in business that King Edward VII later commissioned him to build bathrooms in the royal palace. In fact, he built so many “crappers” across England that when American soldiers came to the country, they carried that name back to the states with them. And thus mankind’s crap, finally found its home… in the crapper. Inspirational.

Now, that’s enough potty talk. Let’s claim our thrones. We start our first shot with 1 part of rum. I’m using white rum, just to introduce a base sweetness to our shot since we’re gonna be putting in some very herbal elements, we don’t want anything to outshine them. Next, we’ll add 1 part Frangelico. This of course is sweet liquor, but it is very, very nutty. The hazelnut flavor in here actually tastes bolder to me than just eating straight hazelnuts. Finally, we place in 1 part yellow chartreuse. Now if you’ve never worked with chartreuse or tasted it, you’ll know… it’s amazing. It’s one of my favorite liquors, but it’s expensive, especially the yellow one due to the inclusion of honey and saffron in the recipe. But, since it’s very herbal, the honey adds a wonderful amount of sweetness that is just delectable. Let’s stir that up and set it aside.

Our second shot is going to follow the first in equal parts of rum, chartreuse, and Frangelico. But in this one we’re also going to add one part of crème de cacao. So, where the first shot was 1/3 rum, 1/3 chartreuse, and 1/3 frangelico, this version will be ¼ of each ingredient, plus ¼ crème de cacao. The introduction of this extra ingredient adds a nice chocolatey note to the rest of our flavors. Let’s mix this up as well, and there you have it: the porcelain thrones, #1 (the yellow shot) and #2 (the brown shot).

Don’t let their appearance scare you. They’re sweet and the honey and herbs from the chartreuse give it so much depth and body, but then the Frangelico comes through to really give it a nutty punch. As you know, when you start with number 1, you often end with number 2 so the second shot has a lot of the same flavors as the first, but the chocolate brings a nice complexity and makes a delicious dessert shot.

And there you have it, the porcelain thrones. Luckily neither will send you to their namesake, well… not unless you have too many.